I, Lindsay Havlicek Bell, am a blog hoarder. For every entry that I publish, I have 10+ that are hiding in various folders on my computer. I write a lot, daily, but don't have much to show for it.
I had this realization tonight while soaking in the shower, which is where I do most of my serious thinking. "What's your problem, Lindsay? Why do I write so much, and post so infrequently? Why do I have great ideas, and then bale on them? Why do I choose to post only about safe topics instead of juicy topics?"
I think I know the answer. Good writing exposes your soul. It's like walking around stark naked. I am completely afraid of opening up, showing the world who I am, and putting myself out there for judgement. Actually, I think walking around naked would actually feel easier than admitting my insecurities at times! Please don't test me on that one though! Rejection scares the shit out of me! And believe me, I've been rejected plenty (just ask anyone I went to high school with! Haha).
Just because I am a psychologist, life & health coach, and yogi and openly talk a lot about self-love and not needing acceptance from others doesn't mean that I've actually achieved it yet myself. I think that admitting it is so much more relatable and real. I'm working on choosing love over fear just as all of you are.
So from now on, I am going to do my best to be more open, share who I am (look out world!), and write, write, write! I will make a huge effort to cut the crap, and write about what I want to write about... And actually post it! I hope that you all will stick around for it!
... And the irony: this blog post is exactly what I'm talking about doing more of. It feels freaking awesome! Taking a deep breath, identifying your fears, and letting them go is totally possible. If I can do it, so can you! How would you feel if you could let go of yours?