Lindsay Havlicek Bell, Psy.D.

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Is Pursuing the Life you Dream of Irresponsible?

Hello!

I wrote this post up a couple weeks ago, but never got to editing and publishing it.  Mom life kind of happened, as it always does, and then Hurricane Irma was looming in the distance.  We had a few days of preparation, worry, and sugar binging from stress.  Luckily, Northwest Florida escaped Irma's wrath with just tropical storm conditions, and a strong northern wind. While we were super fortunate, parts of Florida were not.  I am researching how I can best contribute to helping those who were hit hard by Irma (and Harvey!), and will soon share more details.  Thank you for all the love and prayers.  We are so grateful to have all of you.

And now for the post I've been meaning to post...


My husband, Bodie, and I were running over to the store to pick up a three ring binder for Project Airstream, (@saltedmoonairstream on Instagram to follow), and the next thing I know we had some goodies from the bakery and coffee bar at Whole Foods, and were driving to Pensacola.  Road trip!

While I was sipping on my iced coffee and chomping at my chocolate filled croissant, I asked Ed the following question:  Why did it take being in our 30s and having a baby to "go minimal" and pursue the life that we wanted in our hearts?  We had toyed with the idea for so long.  Why didn't we act on it sooner?  

Without blinking an eye, Ed said, "Because we were trying to be responsible."

Responsible. 

Ahhhhh.  

He hit the nail on the head as he always does.  

Some might say (and have said!) that Ed and I quitting our jobs on the same day, putting our house on the market, moving 1200 miles to the Gulf Coast just because we love the beach and warm ocean waters while having a 12 week old baby was not responsible.

Ironically, I've always been the responsible one. I always put school first. I chose to study rather than party. I went to school for years. I picked a career that would support my family. Got a big house to have kids in that was located in a great school district before I even wanted a kid. Worked a lot of hours. You name it.

Is that what being a high functioning and responsible adult is though? Maybe to some.

To me, this is a typical culturally accepted definition of responsible.  It's not that it's wrong.  It's just not for me. It's a lifestyle, but not to be confused with "responsible." 

I've done a lot of thinking, and reassessed what being a responsible adult looks like, and this is what I've come up with:

  • Contribute to society.
  • Use my abilities and skills to provide for my family.
  • Take care of my mental and physical health and wellbeing. 
  • Discover and cultivate my life's purpose.
  • Do what needs to be done even when the motivation isn't there.
  • Stay true to my word.
  • Be honest and faithful.
  • Provide for, love, and raise my son to be the best version of himself.
  • Be kind, respectful, and advocate for those who can not advocate for themselves.
  • Leave things better than how I found them.
  • Take personal responsibility when I screw up, try to make things right, and apologize.
  • Do my part to take care of the planet. 

There's nothing that says how many square feet my home is, how much stuff I own, how big my bank statement is, what exactly I do for a living, or how many hours are spent behind a desk.  

What would you add to this list? Are you fearful that following your dream is irresponsible? Have you confused responsible with a lifestyle choice, too? Comment below!

With LOVE, 

Lindsay