Lindsay Havlicek Bell, Psy.D.

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Truths, Stress, and Being Real AF

Happy Saturday everyone!

What are you up to this weekend?  We went out for pizza and pineapple cider (so good!) at Whole Foods last night.  We tend to go there a lot because little Bodie is a really picky eater, and I know there are some things he will eat there.  Nothing worse than going out to dinner with a toddler who refuses to eat and is bored.  I won't even go there!

Anyhoo.... This is a follow up to the last blog post that I wrote about stressful times.  Pour yourself a cup of coffee and read along (I'm drinking one while I write this).  If you haven't read it, you can check it out here.  I received so many emails and phone calls over this blog. I have such a loving community here, and I really appreciate how much you all care about me.  I want to reassure you that we are fine.  I shared the stress we were feeling last week because I feel like its a disservice to the world to pretend that life won't be stressful.  If I was sitting here saying "oh, I quit everything, moved, and life is amazing and spectacular every single day" it would feel like a huge load of bullshit, and it wouldn't help anyone.  I actually can't stand when coaches or influencers make it seem like everyday is amazing.  Trust me, it's not!

Here are some truths:

  • Life changes will be stressful.  Short-term stress will be higher than if you idled by.
  • Self-employment is stressful at times.  
  • Living an intentional on-purpose life will have ups and downs.  This isn't a rainbow paved road to unicorn town.  I'm convinced that sometimes there will be even more struggle down this path... but it will also be so incredibly rewarding.
  • Any form of behavioral change is HARD.  There will be ups and downs.
  • There is never an easy way.
  • Motivation will come and go.  You have to keep moving in the "right" directions even without motivation. 
  • It's good to express your emotions and the ups and downs.  Our society is so conditioned to everyone pretending they're doing great that sharing the hard times is viewed as being crazy by many.  Notice how we said to people "how are you?" and the conditioned response is "good."  Even when you want to say shitty?  Anxiety and depression are a killer that no one wants to talk about.  I'm not saying you unload and over share, but it's okay to be real.  We are all facing the same battles.  By being real, you give other people permission to be real, too.
  • Life will be boring and mundane at times.  We all have to clean, do laundry, figure out what's for dinner, and pay the bills.  Even if you live in the most amazing place on Earth.  Even if you have the sickest job ever.  Stop comparing your life to other people's highlight reel.  
  • There is no way to escape suffering.  We will all suffer at times.  The trick is learning the tools to cope, and reducing as much of the self-inflected suffering that you can (i.e. changing your thoughts!!)  If you work with me, I don't wave a magic wand.  I help you think and do differently.  Sounds simple, but I went to school for about 10 years to learn how.  Haha.
  • There is no end goal on your personal journey.  The work will never be done.  Enjoy the freakin' ride!!!!

I made massive life changes over the last two years, and I love talking about all of it.  It's funny how it has actually guided my business, because I never really intended for it to do so.  It's just that the more I talked about it, the more people were interested.  It guided me to help other people make lifestyle changes as well.  And let me be clear, for me, I sold my house, moved, yada yada yada...  For you, you might be trying to incorporate yoga into your busy week.  Or maybe you're trying to lose weight and improve your health.  Or maybe you need better work/life balance.  Or maybe you just graduated and have no idea what to do next.  

Lifestyle is deeply personal and everyone's needs are unique.  The trick is that you have a lifestyle that is healthy, sustainable, balanced, and fulfilling.  Living on-purpose will look different for everyone.  I'm here for you whether you want to make big changes or are struggling with little changes that are important for your well-being.

Wishing you all a beautiful weekend.

With LOVE

Lindsay