Don’t Put a Chair Where You Don’t Want People to Sit

I hope fall is treating you well. The days are so noticeably shorter now— there’s more time for rest, and early bed times seem inevitable.

It’s also the season for finishing up projects outside, and making small shifts to prepare us for the quieter months ahead.

With that said, a friend mentioned that she and her fiancé were debating about whether to add a bench out front — part of a new landscaping plan.

Without thinking, I said, “Don’t put a chair where you don’t want people to sit.”

We laughed, but the words stayed with me.

Because most of what we call boundaries isn’t about defense. It’s about design. The way we arrange our spaces, our time, our energy — it all tells a story.

Every choice is a quiet signal: what we invite in, what we keep sacred, what we’re done hosting.

Boundaries aren’t walls. They’re blueprints. The quiet architecture of a life that reflects what feels good and true.

A porch light left on.
A chair placed just so.
A calendar filled with noise.
A habit that’s overstayed its welcome.

It’s all communication.

You don’t have to explain your boundaries, or defend them, or shout “no.” Just stop arranging your life around what drains you.

Move the chair.
Redesign the space.
Make room for peace.

Not out of coldness, but out of clarity.

Because design is kindness — to yourself and everyone else. It shows people where calm lives, and it reminds you that your life is a sacred space, too.