Life is NOT on hold; Quarantine Edition
Hey friends,
How is everyone holding up? What a weird time. I have been wanting to get over here and put up a blog post, but nothing felt like the right thing to share… because, well, this is just weird and lots of things seem irrelevant. So I decided to instead open up and just share feelings, thoughts, and insights I’ve gained over the last 3 years, I mean weeks. LOL!
It has not been all sunshine and rainbows over here. First of all (and I hate adding prefaces as if I need to explain or justify myself, but here we go anyway just in case)… We are incredibly grateful for our current circumstances. Ed is still working, and besides my photography taking a big hit (as in every shoot was cancelled, postponed, etc), my online business is absolutely thriving. We have beautiful outdoor areas we can access, the roads are not crowded, and the stores seem to be getting more and more food. And get this, I was able to buy toilet paper and art supplies yesterday! Hooray! We know that we are extremely lucky right now, and that a lot of people are currently living in nightmare situations. But global crisis or not, we are all allowed to feel, learn, and grow. Everyone’s feelings are valid, and everyone’s circumstances are relevant.
Let’s rewind a little.
I remember when I first started hearing about everything. I felt detached, thought “not here”, and continued to live like normal. After a few days I gained more knowledge, did my best to socially distance myself, and chose not to take Bodie to gymnastics despite the fact that it wasn’t cancelled yet. Everyday it felt like there was a new statistic, a new rule, jobs being lost, closings, cancellations, and shut downs. I started to worry as this new reality took form, and a week later became extremely stressed out. And then they closed the beaches. I won’t even go there right now. Everything felt like total doom. I was crying daily, felt like our lives were on hold, was struggling to navigate parenting, and missed my parents tremendously who live in upstate New York. When would I see them next?
I didn’t feel like working, missed my routines, was barely eating, was constantly stuck in negative thoughts, and just wanted to stay in bed in the morning. My phone was basically glued to my hand. I was immersed in the mainstream media, and when I wasn’t reading one negative article after the next, I was feeding into the drama being shared on various local facebook groups I’m a part of (iykyk).
There is a difference between being aware of current events and being obsessed and drowning in them. There is a difference between facts and opinions. The media is highly sensationalized and loves spreading fear. I am not sweeping current circumstances under the rug, but the media has an agenda, and it’s not one I align with.
So I stopped reading the news, mostly. I limit myself to 10-15 minutes to just catch any updates. I stopped engaging in the facebook banter. But ultimately, I have worked on my mindset… I stopped viewing life as being on hold until this passes. I created a new routine for myself and Bodie. I stopped pressuring myself with the “shoulds”, and just do the best I can each day. I immersed myself in the Breakaway Movement community, have made new friends, and am putting time into those who are overflowing with high vibes.
My actions have been adjusted so that I can continue to experience joy right now. That is what life is about. It is a constant dance, balancing act, and series of adjustments. We are each responsible for our own happiness and life experience, no matter what kind of shit is thrown our way.
We have to continue to live life as fully as possible. Life does not go on hold. Neither do dreams or goals. This is all very much our life, and a part of the bigger plan that maybe we will one day make sense of. Who knows?
I am not waiting for anything. Period. I am moving forward within these temporary parameters. I am embracing the additional creativity needed that is coming my way since I am limited and have to do things differently. I am learning valuable life lessons that are contributing to my mental and spiritual growth, and will only make the rest of my life better. I am embracing what is, and accepting what isn’t.
No matter what you are currently feeling or experiencing, it is okay. I’m sending you all lots of love from 6+ feet away.
Lindsay
