Most people don’t realize they’ve built a life around survival cues. Urgency, pressure, overcommitment, hustle, people-pleasing—these stress signals often become the foundation of our routines, not because we chose them consciously, but because they’re normalized.

The result? Lives that look productive on the outside but feel chaotic, disconnected, and unsustainable on the inside.

But what if we stopped designing our lives around what keeps us stressed—and started designing around what helps us feel safe, steady, and well?

We’re told to push through.

Push through the tiredness.
The headache.
The short fuse.
The gut feeling that something’s off.

We reward it. Celebrate it. Build entire identities around being the one who never quits. And for a while, it works. You get things done. You check the boxes. You hold it all together.

But at what cost?

"My nervous system is fried." "I’m just so dysregulated." "My nerves are shot."

These phrases are everywhere right now—and while it’s good that nervous system language is becoming more mainstream, most people still don’t really know what they’re talking about.

Let’s clear it up.